Thursday, March 31, 2016

My One Little Wordle: BOLD



This is not only the last day of the March SOLC at Two Writing Teachers (sad face), but it is also the day to celebrate my OLW (smiley face) on Holly Mueller's site where she hosts Spiritual Journey Thursday.

So, once again, this post is doing double duty... BOLDLY doing double duty.  It is pretty much a ramble from the poem on...not sure why, but it didn't seem to come together today as clearly and smoothly as I would have liked.  I apologize now for it being so long.
You can pick and choose what you want to read and what you want to skip!

Boldly Go

Bold means stepping out
one foot following the other
without more thought than is
necessary
without more shaking than
the shaking off of fears.

Bold means chin held up
leading the way forward
into places not encountered
before
without casting eyes down
except to clear a path.

Bold means not questioning,
knowing it is the right way
even in a deep, dark valley
marching
without hesitation
till mountain's top is scaled.

©2016, Donna JT Smith, all rights reserved


My word for this year is BOLD.  I picked that word for a few reasons, some of which I've written about before. 

BOLD 1
When I went to the doctor for a checkup in late December, she discovered a lump.  It was determined that I needed a mammogram asap.

Many, many prayers were boldly spoken aloud and in quiet by myself, my family, my friends, my pastor.  I went boldly for a healing anointing with the elders of the church - something that is spoken of in the Bible in James 15: 14-16.

BOLD prayers continued until I was seen in early January for my mammogram.  There was no lump to be found.  Even an immediate followup ultrasound turned up nothing.  I was clean.
1 John 5: 14-15
14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

We often don't come to God with the BOLDness He has told us to have.   
We often start or end a prayer with "if it is your will...", as if we need to give God permission to ignore our prayers.  Of course He can ignore our prayer if He wants to.  He doesn't need our permission.  We aren't being rude when we call out to God, pray to Him, and ask boldly for what we wish.  

If we have asked God to give us our desires, then we know it is his desire, also.  In the scriptures, God giving us our desires does not mean he gives us what we want, but that he changes inside us what we would desire.  Then He makes you want the right things - that is the desire he has given you.

So if God has put it in your heart to want something specific, perhaps then you should follow the directive and ask for that boldly.  He did, after all, make you want that, and told you to ask for what you want.  It's an interesting and powerful realization.  We need to have faith, and realize that prayer is a powerful thing!

Hebrews 4: 16
16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. 

"Come boldly unto the throne...find grace to help in time of need..."

Bold moves, a bold faith, a bold help.

I want to be bold in my faith to do what I am called to do, my expectations of myself, my love for others, my prayers for God's desires for me, and for making my way in life.  I want to be bold in my prayers for others; bold in following in faith; bold in my relationship with God; and bold in living life as a witness.
And that's a lot of BOLDNESS!

BOLD 2
This is pretty much related to BOLD 1.
I took a bold step to improving my health all around.  In mid-March I was taken off BP med, and told I was no longer in a pre-diabetic state.

Parts are and have been healing in my body.  I had started physical therapy, too, and have found that my core strength is improving, too, around a challenging spine.  I have grown an inch since my checkup in December.  Instead of being 2 inches shorter than in my youth, I am now only one inch shorter.  You know, that has to have helped my BMI (LOL!)... I've always said I was the perfect weight for my ideal height.  Somehow I just never attained my height goal.

BOLD 3
I want to be BOLD in stepping outside of my comfort zone in writing, and be more confident and comfortable in this world of writing.
I have BOLDLY submitted two pieces to anthologies, and am waiting to hear back at the end of the summer.  Being BOLD would say that I should not be "waiting to hear"; I should be continuing to submit things.  But, I find I am making excuses, when in fact I need to be BOLD in my actions.

Here's what I'm thinking instead: 
- I don't really have a good piece finished.
- I should be doing laundry, cleaning that closet, sewing, etc.
- I don't know where to submit work even if I had anythin - why can't they find me? (defensive voice starts)
- There are going to be so many "no's"  before a "yes".
- It's going to take too long. (whiny voice begins)
- It's too hard. (whiny voice continues a bit louder)
- I have a dog.
- I have a hangnail.
- It's too hot/cold/rainy/snowy. (is that a pout?)

Maybe that is why I've not been able to be bold yet - I'm making MEEK excuses for not being BOLD.

BOLD 4
I want to be more BOLD in my painting and drawing.  BOLD in my painting.  When I painted BOLDLY I felt like an artist.  I haven't painted since Thanksgiving - not since boldly painting the portrait of our dog.
After that I didn't have the confidence that I could do it again.  But this week I decided to give it another go.   At the very least, I could prove to myself that I should put the paints away for good.
My first painting was on bad paper (there, I already had an excuse for failing!), and I timidly approached the paper with brush.  The painting was horrid!  And I mean horrid.  I am not being overly critical.  Don't even go there about how negative this talk is.  Truly, it was horrid.  I'm not going to even show it to you.
I waited a few days, keeping the horrid one posted on the refrigerator.  I had a talk with myself. Then I pulled out some good paper, refreshed my paints, lined up my brushes and got a nice plastic container out of recycling for water.  Found the photo I'd taken that I wanted to capture, and told myself that I COULD do this.  And if it wasn't good, that was all right.  Just do it.  And be BOLD about it.
I did it.  And it wasn't half bad.  Are there things I wish I'd done differently?  Yes.  But for the most part, it was pleasing.  And it pretty much looks like him, too...BOLD BONUS!

I have never been bold in my actions.  Bold does not always look good on me.  It can look like I'm bragging.  Like posting this painting.  Is that BOLD or a BOAST?  To me it feels like both.  I mean it to be BOLD;  I cringe as I put it out there for critical eyes.

It seems to me that there has always been a bolder person inside of me that was a bit scared to emerge.  Does that make ANY sense?  Sometimes this bolder person makes an appearance when situations require her.  And it's always a bit of a surprise to me - and probably others.

BOLD is not concerned a lot with what others think.  BOLD is about doing what needs to be done.

Today I am making a BOLD sign for my refrigerator.  It will be a BOLDLY printed sign, with synonyms for BOLD on it, and things I want to be BOLD about.  Though I doubt that I will ever BOLDLY go where no man has gone before...it may be where I have never gone before at least and at last!

My refrigerator poster.

Tomorrow is a HUGE day!!!!  The beginning of BOLD blogging plans.
I will be participating in all of these in April:

NaPoWriMo - writing a poem a day in April begins tomorrow.
The A-to-Z Challenge for the month of April begins for over 1000 writers of all genres.
Poetry Friday Roundup will be weekly on Friday, of course, and tomorrow is Friday!
Irene Latham's Progressive Poem gets its first line tomorrow - see schedule below!

Progressive Poem schedule:

2016 KIDLITOSPHERE PROGRESSIVE POEM
April
2 Joy at Joy Acey
3 Doraine at Dori Reads
4 Diane at Random Noodling
8 Janet F. at Live Your Poem
11 Buffy at Buffy's Blog
12 Michelle at Today's Little Ditty
13 Linda at TeacherDance
14 Jone at Deo Writer
16 Violet at Violet Nesdoly
17 Kim at Flukeprints
18 Irene at Live Your Poem
19 Charles at Poetry Time
21 Jan at Bookseedstudio
24 Amy at The Poem Farm
25 Mark at Jackett Writes
26 Renee at No Water River
27 Mary Lee at Poetrepository
29 Sheila at Sheila Renfro
30 Donna at Mainely Write

Enjoy this month of April!  It is busy, busy, busy!  And I'm ready to step forth BOLDLY!

6 comments:

  1. I am glad I don't have to pick a favorite part of this post because every word of it speaks to me! Thank you for being BOLD. Keep up the great BOLD work - in your writing, your health, your faith, your art, and your spirit!

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  2. Love the way you intrigued with "wordle" in your title; haven't thought about them since I did wordles with students last year. (Reason was sad: first grader died of brain tumor just about this time last year, but the poems in her honor were magnificent as only innocent children can make them!).. Your opening poem reminded me of the words from "Star Trek's" intro and then I saw that you alluded to them at the end! So, message to me throughout your post: you don't have to boldly go where no one else has gone, just where you want to push personal limits to go. ...In all, your bold steps and self-talk since December are most inspirational.I'm overjoyed for you that your health is not only good, but improving! Praise God! Thank you for sharing your OLW with us, and for giving us so much richness and variety of thoughts in this post; so much to learn from and to reflect upon; I know I will revisit it! God bless you! Boldly: onward; upward; inward! The journey continues....

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  3. So good to hear of the improving health! A long post but so much to say and think about! Happy writing this year!

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  4. Here's to you! Write boldly! so glad to hear you are well!

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  5. I'm excited to see your poems for April as you go boldly forth, and want to say I'm happy for the good news with your health. That is a bold step to make changes. Always love seeing what you have to share, Donna.

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  6. This is boldly written with bold hopes, dreams, goals, and triumphs. It made me feel bold just by reading it! I also had to chuckle at your list of writing excuses. ;-) I love that you chose the word BOLD - it's obviously the perfect word for you this year! I think your painting is wonderful!

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