|Noah, attacking a bed monster.|
So what was that all about last night?
"What was what all about?"
You know. That little madness going on at the foot of the bed last night.
"Little madness? There was a monster in your bed."
There was no monster.
"Oh, there was. Believe me."
There was no monster. I would have known. I was sleeping and my feet would have been touching it.
Yes, my feet. You were jumping all over them.
"Oh, that couldn't have been your feet. It was too big to be feet, I'm sure. And too squirmy. Monsters are squirmy when you jump about on them, and these were definitely squirmy."
Yes, because you were jumping on them and wrestling them. You got a claw through, too. See my ankle?
"That is not my claw mark. That is clearly the bite of a bed monster."
Do not do that again tonight! I will kick you off the bed.
"If I hadn't been there to subdue the monster last night, who knows if you would even have feet today? I was only protecting you. Someone needs to be on guard at night, and I have just the eyes and claws to do that!"
I will be fine. Just stay on your towel, keep your hairs off my blanket, and leave my feet alone.
"I do leave your feet alone. We will just have to see what the bed monster has in store for tonight. A cat has to do what a cat has to do."
Attacks the sheet
But bed monster's
Just my feet!*
*Noah has requested that I add this note about my poem: "This is fictional. Bed monsters are real monsters; they are not feet. And I am not a 'cat monster'. This is clearly a fictitious cat. Any resemblance to me is purely coincidental, accidental and unintentional, I'm sure."