stepping out, leaping,
relinquishing my power
landing in safety
Yesterday at church, I did get my post for today, Jaana.
It was in the message that was preached. My brother is the pastor of the church, so he brings in many family stories from our childhood as illustrations - and his memory is so much better than mine!
He was talking about faith when he brought up a memory. The memory of our father and his building up of our trust in him. When we were very little he used to have us stand on the counter edge in our old pantry and tell us to jump into his arms.
Wow, that was a long way down! You would look down and see the floor almost a whole kid away from your feet, and Dad's face almost level with yours. It was such a long way down back then. Of course, it's a long way down today, too. I can barely step down from a chair I'm using to change a light bulb. Jumping down off things certainly isn't what I do anymore. Wouldn't want to break a hip or an ankle.
I remember watching my brothers just leap off into space and Dad catching them to put them safely on the ground. They loved it! They'd do it over and over.
Watching them, I could see that it was really only a small space of a jump before they were safely in my father's arms. But when I was up there the idea of jumping off was so scary. I hated it and would stand up there for too long, building up more and more fear of jumping. I don't remember a day I jumped. I don't even know if I did ever. I must have. My dad wasn't one for just letting things go... But I'm pretty sure it would have been just once. My memory is of watching and wondering at how much fun they were having.
When I stand on high surfaces, my feet and hands hurt. Even when someone else stands on high surfaces, my feet and hands hurt. When we sanded and stained our house, my husband used scaffolding to get up to the peak of the cathedral ceiling in the living room, and when he was up there, I had to leave the room.
I'd rather be on a train than a plane.
I'd rather play marbles than swing.
I will dive into water from the side of the pool, but not from the diving board.
I prefer using 6 flights of stairs to riding an elevator.
I like being grounded. But I don't like being restricted by my fears. So sometimes I take a chance...a leap of faith so to speak...and I have never regretted those leaps.
Just don't ask me to skydive.
That's not happening.
I am the same way about heights, Donna - and it seems to have become more so as I've aged. Sometimes, I wish I could overcome this - it would have been so wonderful to have hiked up the waterfalls in Yosemite, for instance, than have to sit with a good book at the base while the rest of the family took off. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteYosemite. Wow! That must have been some trip for you!
DeleteI don't like being the one sitting on the bench while the others are on the rollercoaster...but I really don't want to be on the rollercoaster. So bench it is. Maybe I do like it that way!
And, hey, there's more than one way to view the falls, I mean waterfalls.
How about bunjee jumping? Just kidding - I'm so with you about heights. I love though how you see the fear and work to get past it so it doesn't hold you back. I enjoyed your post - thanks.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Yeah, I almost wrote bunjee jumping instead of sky diving! Either way...not happening.
DeleteI'm not one for heights either, but I try to overcome the fear - I just don't look straight down. As long as I look out, I'm okay. Roller coaster - not my bag either. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYes, I try to overcome the fear also. Like with elevators. I DO them, but I am SO happy when the doors open on the correct floor.
DeleteIt is all about keeping things in perspective! Taking risks is important, but the risks just can't be too risky!
ReplyDeleteThat's right. Physical risk is not my thing, I guess. I've taken other kinds of leaps that wouldn't entail breaking bones if done incorrectly!
DeleteI think I would like to skydive. Maybe. It's hard to know.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't like it, there's nothing to do but finish it. That's probably what my problem is partly. There's no turning around and changing your mind!
DeleteWe all observe and act on our own terms in our own time. Your brothers may have had the courage to take a literal leap of faith into the arms of your father, but no doubt you possess the same courageous qualities- just maybe you apply them to other aspects of your life.. say.. for example..starting your own blog and writing for all the world to see? :) I loved your post.
ReplyDeleteI am brave, courageous and bold after all! I'm leaping into cyberspace! Thanks!
DeleteI love when a slice of life story grows out of a worship service.
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteI liked the contrasts in your next-to-last paragraph; a unique and powerful way to show your fear. I also like the idea of stepping out of your comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, thank you for all the kind comments on my students' blogs today!!!
Thanks, Jennifer!
DeleteAnd I enjoyed reading you students' writing today! It's great that they are participating!