Kyrielle for a Reason

Kyrielle
A Kyrielle is a French form of rhyming poetry written in quatrains (a stanza consisting of 4 lines), and each quatrain contains a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the poem consists of only eight syllables. There is no limit to the amount of stanzas a Kyrielle may have, but three is considered the accepted minimum. Some popular rhyming schemes for a Kyrielle are:
aabB, ccbB, ddbB, with B being the repeated line, or
abaB, cbcB, dbdB.
Mixing up the rhyme scheme is possible for an unusual pattern of:
axaZ, bxbZ, cxcZ, dxdZ, etc. with Z being the repeated line. The rhyme pattern is completely up to the poet. 

It was a long drive up north to potato country, just this side of the Canadian border.  Plenty of time to think... 

 

Every mile closer to away
Every minute nearer to the day
Every moment happens for a reason
Every one is living their own season


Every moment somewhere a surprise
Every day believing without eyes
Every path being the way He’s on
Every one is living their own season

Every word with gentle kindness uttered
Every deed with compassion buttered
Every thing that’s done should be pleasing
Every one is living their own season

Every mile closer to away
Every minute nearer to the day
Every moment happens for a reason
Every one is living their own season

Okay, I was going to change a line and when I went to do that, I noticed that there was an 8 syllable limitation on the lines.  So now I've changed the Kyrielle to adhere to the format!
I am not sure...I think I like it better.  The last line in each stanza isn't quite as pleasing to me, but perhaps has the same feeling that I was going for.  I definitely wanted to keep the compassion buttered.  If feels all warm and covering and seeping in as compassion should be. What do you think?  Should I just let poetic license rule? Or is the edited better?

This is the edited for syllables one:

Every mile closer to away

Each minute nearer to the day

Each thing happens for a reason

Each is living their own season

Each moment somewhere a surprise

Each day believing without eyes

Each path travel the way He’s on

Each is living their own season

Each word with gentleness uttered

Each deed with compassion buttered

Each thing for others be pleasing

Each is living their own season

Every mile closer to away

Each minute nearer to the day

Each thing happens for a reason

Each is living their own season