Friday, May 3, 2013

Robin's Proclamation

Is there anything more cheerful and commanding than a robin's warble on a spring morning?  I wrote, rewrote, re-rewrote, and finally wrote.

Spring robin proclaims
This joyful day to be his
Please share it with me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I heard a robin,
unstoppable
in his cheery
morning greeting
telling the world
of this glorious day 
that was his
and
in that chirping
message
I also heard
he would share it
with me
if I'd like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin and I do
Hereby joyfully proclaim
This day glorious!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a robin
unstoppable
in his cheery
morning greeting
proclaims to the world
that the day before him
will be glorious
and it is his
but
he invites all
to share with him
the enjoyment of
this
perfect
day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, there are four ways I wrote this.  I'm going to stop now! I think I like the last one best. Any thoughts?

11 comments:

  1. They all invite you to share the day with the robin. Did you enjoy the day with the robin?

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    1. As a matter of fact, I did. I love the sound of robins! And it was a clear blue sky day fit for sitting back and relaxing...which I did...though I suppose it was a fit day for raking and sprucing up the outside...which I didn't.

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  2. Yes, I like the last best, but I do like the first one too, Donna. I like your idea that the robin will share. I had a robin out chirping, chirping this am because I had an early morning breakfast to go to, & it was out at the crack of dawn!

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    Replies
    1. They do take charge of the morning! Love their calls.

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  3. There's nothing more cheery than a robin. The last one is seamless, nice to see variations on a theme.

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    Replies
    1. They are the cheeriest! Love them!

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  4. Enjoyed all the incarnations of robin's proclamation, Donna. Fun! =)

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    Replies
    1. Some poems come all at once, and some, like this, come in stages with lots of changes. Don't know why.

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  5. Yes, I like the last one best because it is all robin, and no poet/no "I."

    Robins seem pretty self-centered to me. And LOUD at 4:30 in the AM!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Yes, I think you are right. That's why I was still writing I think. I had to get to more him and less me!

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  6. I like the last one best. I feel I can really hear his proclamation in it and his generous offer to share. : )

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