Friday, February 6, 2015

Journey

Today I am posting a bit late for Poetry Friday hosted today by Elizabeth Steinglass, and for Poetry Jam, where the prompt is to write about some sort of journey - and since I have just taken a journey by train, I opted to go literally and make up a format. See if you can tell what the pattern is that I used.
On Amtrak in Connecticut in the Storm


Clickety-Clack, Train on a Track

train on a track
clickety-click
       clickety-clack
       in snow and sleet
             clickety-cold
       clickety-street
             of ties and rails
                  clickety-steel
             clickety-wails
                   wind whips aloft
                        clickety-strong
                   clickety-soft
                        almost asleep
                             clickety-lull
                        clickety-beep
                   through each town
              clickety-in
                   clickety-down
             over each hill
         clickety-up
             clickety-still
      the snowflakes fall
  clickety-white
      clickety-tall
the buildings reach
    clickety-clouds
clickety-beach
      and sea at last
            clickety-sand
      clickety-fast
             home again
                  clickety-where
             clickety-when
                       the train track ends
                             clickety-clack
                                    clackety-back.

 ©Donna JT Smith, 2015

Ok.  Here's the format.  No.  I've changed my mind.  I'm not going to tell you.
I took Amtrak from Philly to Boston and Concord bus from Boston to Portland in the snowstorm on Monday.  We hit the whole thing.  It was an amazing storm to follow up the coast in a train all day...not so much fun on a bus in Boston with whiteout conditions...
but I made it.
You can see that the leash is actually going up in the picture.  I am standing below her.  She's up on top of the snow....we have about 33 inches right now - more in that spot.  She's eye-level with me here.
I've been visiting with grandkids and my daughter for over a week AND we have a new puppy, so I have not had much time to write. Oh, and I've been shoveling...and shoveling...and shoveling...and snowed in and blizzarded in a few times over the past two weeks.
The snow was sticky for this last storm so it made for some beautiful frosting on the trees, but heavy to move it.
The concentration just hasn't been there.  Surprise, surprise.

41 comments:

  1. Oh, that was quite a journey. I loved the shape of your poem and the sound effects. Wonderfully atmospheric.

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    1. Thanks, Mary. I had fun riding the rails and writing it!

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  2. Wonderful shape and rhyme to this delightful piece, Donna. As I've said before, you really have got to get your work onto children's bookstore shelves. What a gift you have there! And thank you for the little verse on my blog post. Much enjoyed! Last (but not least, as they say) beautiful job with the photography - awesome pictures!

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    1. Thank you, Wendy! You are sooo kind! I really just don't know how to get my work onto a bookstore shelf - Blurb has a great interface for putting a book together, but I've had some real problems with the production quality and prices. I guess I really need to do some submitting to publishers now.

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    2. Interesting, I have used Blurb to publish my poetry ~~ seven or eight books and have had stellar results. Of course, those are individual books not headed for the book stores. Smiles.

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    3. I have also used Blurb and the quality was excellent. My book was poetry and color photos. Cost of course is another matter. Maybe you should make a digital book! Have no idea how to get those out. Amazon maybe?

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    4. The paperbacks have been nice except for one copy missing its first 8 pages! And the trade book size had bad covers on 4 out of 6 copies. Then they had a bad shipping label on an order and it was returned to them for re shipping. They've been good about fixing things but I just couldn't believe how many things went wrong! When they're good, they're good, but I just had so many strange issues with them that I'm leery of using them again. Price is certainly an issue if it's for retail sale. Great for personal use and gifts though.

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  3. ha. fun throughout with the clickety clack...i grew up by the tracks...so their sound is familiar to me...i would love to travel by train again as well....the shape accentuates it as well...and going home...always nice...

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    1. I love traveling by train, and now that we have the Downeaster from Maine to Boston, it is even more accessible.

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  4. I love the poem! Congratulations on the new puppy! Is he enjoying the snow?

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    1. Oh, my, does she love the snow! She swims in it, digs in it and slides on her belly! What a clown!

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  5. A new puppy is always an exciting event, Donna! I enjoyed the light tone of your words - like a poem for children too.

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    1. Yes, the puppy is providing lots of excitement. The cat is just now getting used to it and has begun to tease her!
      And, yes, I like to write poetry that can also be for children...or mostly for them even!

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  6. I love all your hyphenated clickety words. The repetition feels very train-like.

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    1. I'm so glad someone came up with the word "clickety" once upon a time! It's such a great word!

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  7. Love this, Donna! The visual shape and the movement of the sounds, the repetition, the perfect ending. 33 inches!! That does sound like a lot of work.

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    1. Thanks, Tabatha!
      Oh, the snow! 14 more inches starts tonight through Monday... Good thing we live in the woods...there's more places to throw it!

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  8. Yeah, you've been a little busy. What a trip to follow that storm all the way from PA to ME!

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    1. It was fun to see it start in PA and get full blown Connecticut to Boston, then taper off by the time I got to my front door in Maine. I saw the whole show.

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  9. Love your poem -- such wonderful rhythm and sound effects! Glad your train trip was a safe one. That's a LOT of snow! Stay warm and safe, and have fun :).

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    1. Thanks, Jama! It was a magical train ride in the snow. More snow coming any time now - we need 14 more inches...Ugh.

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  10. Donna, this is great--musically, visually--the total package. Are you ready for three more days of the dreaded white stuff?

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    1. Thanks, Diane!
      And NOOOOO to snow! I just heard yesterday about the 14 more inches expected starting sometime soon today and ending Monday eve. Yea. I have to shovel a pet bathroom each time it snows so the old dog and the pup can have a spot to go. Plus, living out where we are, this snow has left us snowed in for quite a while before the plows can get in to us. Best get the fixin's for some chili when I go out today!

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  11. The pics are nice & so is your poem.
    Great that you reached your destination! Phew :)

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    1. Thanks for dropping by today, Anita! I was relieved to get home safe and sound that night.

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  12. Beautifully executed poem and blog. really lovely.

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Sorry, fingers were slipping all over my keyboard! What I meant to say? This is delightful!

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  14. Oh, those sounds! I hear that train now...

    So well done! Hope y'all are thawed by now.

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    1. Not thawed yet. We are due another major storm tonight through Monday evening.

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  15. I have no guess as to the format--I know very few of them. But I enjoyed the feeling of the train rhythm you created. A train sounds like the best way to travel in a blizzard!

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    1. Yes, the train felt a lot safer than the last leg of the journey by bus!

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  16. Love the shape and the sounds of this poem, Donna - such fun! I grew up riding trains on many journeys in India - you captured the rhythm of the experience so well.

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    1. Wow! Riding trains in India - now that would be a great experience. I've ridden a train in Jamaica quite a few years ago.

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  17. Love the shape and the sounds of this poem, Donna - such fun! I grew up riding trains on many journeys in India - you captured the rhythm of the experience so well.

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    1. Wow! India would be a fun place to be on a train. I've been on a train in Jamaica - that was quite a different experience than a snowstorm ride!

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  18. As long as the train doesn't get stranded, what a journey through the snow! (and I KNOW training a puppy in winter isn't easy … )

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    1. Puppy training is never ending it seems...always seems to be some new thing to get into!
      - oh, and speaking of stranded on a train...I do have a stranded on a train story. I blogged it here: http://mainelywrite.blogspot.com/2013/12/a-train-to-christmas.html (my favorite ride - picture me, husband, infant daughter, 3 year old son instead of just Millie and her mom - true story otherwise)

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  19. Clickety-wonderful, Donna! Glad you made it home through all of that.

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  20. Great poem, Donna, i enjoyed it very much and it was wonderful to be immersed into the Winter's train journey. I am a dog person so it's great to hear you've got a new puppy! :-)

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