It's Spiritual Journey Thursday, hosted by Ruth at There is no such thing as a God-forsaken town, where we are reviewing our One Little Words for the year. How are you coming along staying focused?
For most of last year and this I have been speechless. I had no word. I had no words. Things have flown by me, over me, under me, around me...and I have been a passenger on this earth watching people and events whiz by. No words came to me...well, except maybe "help!"
It is now time for a word that will actually help me. The first word that came to mind just a few seconds ago while writing this was "compass". I am in need of a compass. I am in need of something with a constant and a direction. I will be continuing on a new and uncharted path, and for the most part, alone. It must be a good compass. A weighted compass that will not fly off in the windstorms that are sure to come. Maybe it is "track". I am on a track now...am I ON track? I am trusting that I am. I certainly feel like I am on a train with an unknown destination. Maybe I do not really need the compass.
Right now there are so many ways life could go...will I let it take me there, or will I be determining parts of the path?
I feel like Dorothy at the crossroads - only she got to pick a direction. I'm not sure I'm supposed to be choosing a way to go.
I'm not sure of the direction to take, no indicators of the destination. I have no set way to go yet, and I believe the path will reveal itself as I move along. There is no way to tell what September will look like - where I will be, who I will be with (if anyone), or why I am there.
Perhaps God will answer my plea to know a little more about the plan. Perhaps He will not. So far he's kept most of this part of my journey a secret from me. Such a strange place...curiouser and curiouser...
But I'm pretty sure I am "on track", to something that has been laid out for me just around the bend. I think I'm supposed to sit back and watch, and make some other lives comfortable along the way if the opportunity presents itself.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Way to ramble, Donna.
Donna: I like your rambles! Thank you for sharing your feeling of being unmoored. You are not the only one feeling this... such a year... such a strange time. Your verses remind me of several hymns... this is what I remember from one: "I thank God every time I remember you... constantly praying, constantly praying." And another, an old one that even Elvis sang: "Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, help me stand..." May you feel God's guiding hand as you go forward.
ReplyDeleteDonna, I think the spiritual journey itself is a ramble in many ways - the path not always clear, so many things unseen, just taking a step at a time in faith. Sometimes I can write my way through; sometimes I feel paralyzed, or that the wellspring has run dry (wandering in a word-desert? Soul-desert?). The word that came to you here - compass - is a mighty one. So many connotations. The greatest, you've alluded to: God as true North. Everything else correlates to that. As my childhood pastor told my husband and me, as we stood on the brink of entering the ministry: "Sometimes it seems that God will never move...but when He does, it is fast and mighty; hold on tight!" His words and yours make me think of a rollercoaster: There's the climbing, the grinding of chains, the lull where nothing seems to be happening, then, just around the bend...something breathtaking, maybe even exhilarating.We are told to ask Him anything. Your prayer for discernment and revelation is an act of trust, made in faith. Looking for true North and direction - just as in those powerful verses you chose. He hears. He knows. He guides. Prayers for you and your journey - and thank you for sharing it here with us, as we all travel onward.
ReplyDeleteLoved reading your thoughts. Peace be with you as you move forward on your track, trusting that revelation will come. I love the words from Fran's post as well. "He hears. He knows, He guides." What a gift to share our journeys together.
ReplyDeleteDonna, this post blows me away. My natural response to the situation you describe would be fear...but you remind me to be curious, to find a good compass. Thank you for that. When you described words all around you, I imagined a river...a river with a strong current. I pray for you to find your compass, and, a good solid rock path through the water. xo
ReplyDeleteDonna, what beautiful descriptive writing you have laid out here. I love how you described having no words and feeling like "a passenger on this earth." Wonderful thoughts and trust, as well, you have shared here so powerfully. I thought of another verse that may be meaningful for this chapter in your life: "“Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today." Exodus 14:13a
ReplyDeleteThis post keeps haunting me, and I just wanted you to know I am praying for you. People who think they know their future and have a plan can be greatly deceived, yet it is unnerving, at best, not to have a clue. Your quoted scriptures are both a good track and a true compass. My prayers continue.
ReplyDeleteDear Donna!
ReplyDeleteYOU: "...make some other lives comfortable along the way if possible..."
Always kind, always thinking, always creating.
This essay is a gift to me as I mumble & bumble through series health issues this year.
Blessings for your path, your compass, your directions. Xo
I could so empathize with this post, as I felt the exact same way during the first year of the pandemic (and how odd it feels, to actually write "first year of pandemic", almost six months into the second year). The pause may seem odd, but at the same time, there may be a silver lining to it, this stripping away of the feeling of control and handing it over to a higher power. I experienced the same feelings when my firstborn arrived fourteen weeks early; that experience shaped my thinking and feeling and doing tremendously, and I expect this pandemic to do the same.
ReplyDelete