Join the fun at Reading to the Core
where Catherine Flynn hosts with links galore!
It's International Women's Day, so expect some poems to highlight women and their achievements today.
I didn't win my Madness! Poetry 2019 bout with Anna Best, so I guess you could say I've been Bested! Congratulations, Anna! Oh, well, I'll apply again next year. I like getting a word to work with, and like the fun of writing on a deadline.
I wrote two poems for this prompt. Our word was "lax". The first poem is the one I submitted for the competition. The second one I set aside - seemed too "safe", and went with the first, which was a faster pace (though it had some words that I tried to explain in the comments in case people weren't familiar with them).
"Maine Grandma" is my tribute to some strong women out there!
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| Here I have been made a queen, by a small strong woman aged 4. |
Maine Grandma
Wha’choo sayin’
grandma’s lackin’?
Careful ‘bout
unjust attackin’!
She’s some strong,
been livin’ long.
Don’t go sayin’
nothin’ wrong,
Or ev’n just
a dight unmindful!
She’s of a mind
to be remindful!
Wallop you
for all that sass!
What you sayin’?
I’M slapdash?
You say it’s me
who needs the fix?
My grammar’s all
a gaumy mix?
GRAMMAR’s LAX?
Lacks syntax?
I may be slipshod
in my speech
But not
in grandma’s
honkin’ reach!
By Donna JT Smith©2019
(Maine dictionary:
Gaumy (also gawmy) = awkward, untidy, slovenly
Honkin' = wicked big
Wicked = very )
2.
Sea Cell
The inattentive way she walked
worsened as she texted-talked.
Spellbound, unaware she strode,
both feet set on auto mode
taking her along the shore,
minding not the ocean's roar!
Waded in up to her shin;
charging waves tugged body in.
She floated lax (but up-stretched hand)
till tide returned her to the strand,
heedless that her utter lack
of effort swept her out and back.
No sand or water in her phone;
her texts and selfies dry as bone!
Alive to chat another day -
a lion’s lair the next foray?
By Donna JT Smith©2019
Which did you prefer? Which would YOU have submitted?
My son and daughter were split on this. No help there!
I'm sorry you didn't win. You won in my book. I love the first poem for its hilarity of word play and being a new grandma, I can appreciate the slapstick.
ReplyDeleteGrandma's should be loving but tough! Lol!
DeleteLove both poems. Your grandma reminds me of my 3rd grade teacher :)
ReplyDeleteTough choice! I'd have probably gone for the first one, because it has such a strong, fun voice. Thank you, Queen Donna, and hugs to that 4 year old! xo
ReplyDeleteThat's why I had to go with #1. Just not as safe!
DeleteHaving fun with the kids.
Wow, was she lucky -- her phone didn't even get wet!
ReplyDeleteYou look very regal. Your wee stylist knows what's what.
My stylist is amazing!
DeleteI adored your entry, and the last time I looked you were winning. Yikes, sorry! This second one is a treasure too, love that ending: "a lion’s lair the next foray". Ha! Here's to strong women!
ReplyDeleteYes, I was ahead for awhile! I shall bask in that temporary glory!
DeleteI think you made the right choice - but they both were worthy contenders. Love that model smile, Maine Grandma.
ReplyDeleteI have trouble NOT smiling...feeling grand!
DeleteI like the first one best. They are both fun!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ruth!
DeleteOh, that photo of you as queen is the best. I aspire to that someday. The fun and spunk of that first poem just sweeps me off my feet. I'm noticing in my workplace how I am treated like more of an older person that I'm ready to be. It amuses me and frustrates me. You give voice to some of that. But that selfie -selfie taker takes the cake. Strange world that we live in, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteOh, to be the queen! I do hope you get to wear the royal robe and crown!
DeleteI love them both! They both spotlight your wit, your wicked rhyming skills, and your personality!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mary Lee! You are wicked kind!
DeleteYou may not have won the madness contest, but you have created two gems. These poems are wonderful! I'm not sure which I would have submitted, but either is a winner in my eyes. I adore the picture and the caption as well!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Molly. I had fun - writing AND being queen!
DeleteWhat a tough choice! I agree they're both terrific, but would have chosen the first one. Sorry you didn't move on to the next round. I also love the picture of you as Queen.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Catherine. I loved being a queen for a day!
DeleteJust so you know...my class voted for your poem. We didn't realize until this morning when we checked in for the second round, that you weren't there. Thanks for introducing us in Madness! Poetry. My students are really enjoying the voting!
ReplyDeleteAw! Sweet! Thank them for me! It is a great event each year, and I am honored to be included, and to have gotten the support I got. Many good poems didn't make it to the second round. SOMEONE's got to lose, or it isn't a competition. Keep voting! I am.
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