First Spiritual Thursday in March

Today Karen Eastlund is hosting via Irene Latham's blog.  Our topic today is Music.  And music is a favorite.  I am more into the traditional hymns than the newer Christian music.  It isn't that I don't like modern music, I just don't like it in church.  Great in the car or a concert though - then it is Christian entertainment, not worship or worship prep in my mind.  I'm old school... I'm not much for a "worship team" or "praise team" - sorry!  I don't hate you if you do!
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But first - in case this comes out disjointed or stupid sounding (yipes! I said the s word!) - I guess I'm going to have to start out by saying I've been sick for over a week, with the flu, and am still weary.  I went to the doctor last week on Monday because of a strange heaviness in my chest that was making it hard to breathe. The next day I had chills, fever, joint pain, sensitive skin, disorientation, dizziness, fatigue, chest congestion and coughing.  Then, a few days into it, came the heart palpitations and strange very strong, disturbing, randomly occurring heartbeats.  I finally went to the doctor again this week on Tuesday, and they ordered blood work and an EKG (and echocardiogram as a check on the status of my heart murmur).

Strangely, just before my appointment, I received a text from my brother asking me how I was doing.  I told him about my strange symptoms, and he said that his wife had had the same thing happen when she had the flu this winter.  She also has a heart murmur and occasional palpitations the same as I do, and they had become the same disturbing strong irregularities that I was having, way worse than "normal".  It now appeared that these were actually a symptom of the flu!  At least for those with heart irregularities.

My tests all came out good.  My murmur hasn't changed in the past two years - oh, but it was funny that during the echo, I had a random strong heartbeat causing the tech doing the test to exclaim, "Wow! I felt that!" as he did a little jump back!  He didn't look concerned though, just surprised!
There's something reassuring about that.  Now that that is "off my chest" so to speak...and you realize that I've been quite under the weather and sooo tired....so if I don't make sense, it is just because I am still tired (though I just got dressed for the second day in a row!).

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I was disappointed that I missed church two Sundays because of the flu.  I was supposed to sing at church last Sunday.  I love singing at church, I love the whole everything about it.  Mainly I love it because it surprises me every time I do it.  I was not a soloist ever. I enjoyed singing always, but soloing would just set me to trembling thinking about it. The thought of a duet was pushing it even.  But one day when I was about 60 years old my brother, a pastor, asked me to sing a duet with him.  It never seemed right to refuse anything a pastor asked you to do as a part of the ministry, so I did it with trepidation.  During the singing of the duet he stopped singing, and I was left soloing. I made it through, he joined me later in the hymn.  Not long after that he asked me to do a solo-solo.  I was sick to my stomach, but I did it because he asked me to.

It seemed the oddest thing; I found that I got a lot closer to God when I sang.  The singing surprised me each time I did it - that I could actually do it.  And it grew me.  It grew my relationship to God because I had to rely solely on him to do this.  I had to always focus on the "why" I was doing it.  I had to ask Him to remove me from the equation, and make it fully about Him.  What an awesome feeling!  I have to say that now it is my favorite ministry.  Sometimes it makes me cry - even when I am singing...when I hear the words I'm singing, and it is like it is not me, but God singing them for me or through me... all I can say is I want to forever be able to sing - in the good times and the bad... like Paul and Silas.

Music is and was the beginning of a deeper understanding of and relationship with God.

I know you are all going to just write the best stuff about this, and I am going to think "eesh!"  But it is all I can say.  I'm looking forward to reading what everyone else offers up!
The song I put here disappeared, so now I am posting another - a modern song that I love sung in a tribute to Billy Graham:



*Gearing up for March Madness Poetry.  I've made the cut for the competition (despite my stupor lately)... so register yourself and/or your class to vote for your favorite poems.  There will be an insane number of poems and variety of styles and usage of words at Ed DeCaria's in March!

Okay, I'm putting this up here again - a link to my acapela "It is Well with My Soul" with multiple parts that I sing all parts of - no music.  I had it up before, took it down, and now put a link here.  It may disappear again, as I don't feel too comfortable doing this. I'm not that good, just sincere and prayerful!
https://youtu.be/rtkfaDa71kc?t=18s