So here's a short poem for today. I have lots to do and little time to write.
Look at the date! Do you see how close we are to Christmas? Well, I am not ready for it.
cold
quiet snow
lending
night shroud
quietly
elegantly
mending
the loud
Okay, this was supposed to be a short poem, and it ended up being one. However, I wrote in Pages, then copied and pasted it here. I wasn't happy with it. So it got longer. Then I edited and revised in this space. I cut most of it. This wasn't even in the original originally. It was a last minute addition and the only part I kept. I just say that because I find it strange how poems happen sometimes. And because I'm proud of myself. Not for the poem itself, but for the fact that I am getting better at just cutting through garbage. Just because I wrote it, doesn't mean I have to own it. That is a hard concept sometimes - a "Yes, but I had more stuff - how can you tell me it isn't worth the cyberspace it was printed on?" mentality that I love challenging. I love winning that debate with myself!
Ok...now onward to more Poetry Jammers who are writing about 'Quiet' this week!
I enjoyed reading about your writing process, Donna. I like that you are learning to cut through garbage and change your original poem to something different. I would much rather read one like yours today than one that goes on and on and on and the writer has cut absolutely nothing!! Nice view of 'quiet.' Liked 'elegantly mending the loud.'
ReplyDeleteI, personally, liked that line. It began as "ending" instead of "mending"...when my brain saw or heard "mending" I knew that was what it was supposed to be.
DeleteA thought process instigated by the will of wanting to be perfect. You've got it Donna!
ReplyDeleteHank
Well, that has kind of been a lifelong problem, too!
Delete"mending the loud" that's owerful
ReplyDeletehave a nice Wednesday
much love...
Thanks, Gillena! Wednesday is looking better than yesterday, so far anyway! Terrible weather here.
DeleteSimple words that say everything.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elaine! Happy you stopped by!
DeleteI enjoyed reading how you wrote your poem as much as the poem itself. My own poetry got a little slimmer to recently. "I love winning that debate with myself!" - This made me smile. These are indeed great victories.
ReplyDeleteYes, those are oddly satisfying victories! I find that the more I write, the more I am fascinated by the brain's processing.
DeleteCongratulations on self-editing. It is interesting how poems just happen sometimes. Snow is a quiet thing but with its cold and solid bulk is such a powerful thing. Keep warm.
ReplyDeleteEditing can be a painful process, but so cleansing when you can just let go of the excess....now if I could just do that more in my house as I learn to in my writing!
DeleteLove small poems that say so much and it was illuminating how you arrived at the end result, well done.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is much more of a process than others, isn't it?
Deletei like the line "mending the loud"
ReplyDeletei was just commenting at Nick's that i love the hush that comes
with falling snow...
There is such a quiet when the snow blankets everything. I love the muffled sounds.
Deletenicely written
ReplyDeleteQuiet Always
Thanks!
DeleteGlad you stopped by!
Short and sweet
ReplyDeleteThe Incredible Shrinking Poem!
DeleteDonna,
ReplyDeleteThe necessary words, say it all. Winter quietness is wonderful, especially in the snowy setting.. A fine description.
Eileen
Beautiful poem! I love short and sweet poems. :)
ReplyDeleteSimple and evocative. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteHere is a little trivia for you, for those times when you, like me, find that you need to cut words:
Mark Twain: "If you find an adjective, kill it."
A delicate and emotive piece. Very pretty. Sometimes, less is more, as they say. (By the way loved: not "worth the cyberspace it was printed on" - LOL, so drolly put.)
ReplyDelete"night shroud"… that is wonderful. Nice ending as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Margaret. Our snow is spotty now after some rains...but I'm sure it will be back to cover us again.
DeleteVery short and sweet and to the point. I see micro-poetry becoming more of a fad nowadays. This one was able to portray the concept that you described in your description of the day. I think it is important for micro-poetry to do exactly that: describe a single idea wholly. Good work :)
ReplyDeleteThanks. Sometimes I'm pretty wordy... and sometimes not. And I guess that may be taken both ways.
DeleteDonna I liked your thought process behind the poem, and yes we all read best of best. Great words that express a lot :)
ReplyDelete