Wednesday, November 28, 2012

And More


And here is my second entry, that gives a bit more of the story from yesterday's first entry.  I have one more part I was debating about entering if I got to the final round.  Maybe I'll post that, too.  Or maybe I should keep it for "The Book"!
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Biscuits were in the oven baking up golden as the evening sun. 

I heard the familiar chugging as I set the supper table.

“Men’ll be in any minute... Potatoes, cabbage, corned beef.  Biscuits almost ready... Butter. Salt.”   I rubbed my hands down my faded floury apron.

The scrape of their boots trudging up the steps to the porch, the screen door slamming as they entered the mudroom and hung up gear - they were as comforting as any sounds I’d ever heard. Breathing came easier when I knew they were safely returned to shore.

Silently, they went off to wash up; husband to the kitchen sink, grandson to the upstairs bath.

“Coffee or tea, Cap?”  I asked, bending to get the biscuits from the oven.

“Tea.”

They sat at the table in silence as potatoes and biscuits were handed around, and the corned beef and cabbage were dished out. 
 
“Set his traps in mine,”  Cap’s words were low and released slowly.  I barely caught them.

“What...who?  Who’d do that?  Not the new guy?” I could feel the life draining out of me.  Cutting in on another lobsterman’s fishing territory was dangerous business.

“Ayuh. Macy.”

Lost in his stormy thoughts, our “dinner conversation” was ended; I knew there’d be no drawing him back.

Pushing his plate aside, Cap picked up the newspaper and went to the living room.  Jesse quietly excused himself and retreated upstairs to listen to music or read, or whatever he did up there when it was too quiet down here. I sighed and cleared the dishes. 

In the soapy water, my fingers felt around on the sink bottom for forks or knives.  There were no little buoys attached to tell you they were submerged down there.  I laughed to myself and drained the sink.

I settled into my chair next to Cap’s, and studied his weary face.  It had been a hard day added to hard years - good years though.  I yearned to erase those worry lines and smooth the time wrinkles.

It was early, but Cap folded the paper, and pushed himself out of the chair, straightening slowly.
 
“Guess I’ll turn in.”

“I’m just going to sit up a bit,”  I reached into the sewing basket by my chair.

“ ‘Night, “ he whispered, kissing my forehead.

The stairs creaked under his weight, and then I heard the bedroom door close.  I waited until there were no more sounds from above, assured he was asleep. 

Dropping my sewing back into the basket, I headed for the door.  I grabbed my coat, and found his knife and flashlight in his gear.  I silently slipped out into the darkness, heading for the boat.

A few cuts and Macy’s buoys would be gone, and his traps dead on the ocean floor.

“No little buoys to tell you where they are...”  I laughed to myself.

7 comments:

  1. what a beautiful pace and feeling this has!!!

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    1. Thanks, Lynn. Had a good time at DL Hammon's site Cruising Altitude 2.0 with his WRiTE Club Challenge, making it from 72 writers to one of the final 10. I still lack the confidence that I can continue to write or call myself a writer. Why? I wonder, do all writers feel like they aren't really writers? Is there some rite of passage after which you feel like you are a writer like other people think you are a writer?

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    2. Actually the final 6 is where I ended up...came back to check - thought I'd written 10...yup. Don't know why.

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  2. Donna, I think you are definitely a writer! I enjoyed your entries and thought they were written very well!

    I'm pretty sure all writers have a level of insecurity about their writing. It's normal. But it doesn't have to define us. I've been rejected a gazillion times but I keep on writing, just trying to make the next thing I write a little better than the last.

    Hang in there and keep on writing! I think "the book" is going to be great!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Chris. I'm going to try writing the rest of the story and see where it takes me. I enjoyed the WRiTE Club bouts so we'll see. It usually takes a challenge of some sort to get me started!

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  3. I liked this, & all of it very much: "In the soapy water, my fingers felt around on the sink bottom for forks or knives. There were no little buoys attached to tell you they were submerged down there. I laughed to myself and drained the sink." And good that you returned to it when it wasn't so light. I am confused about who is Macy because of the final part. Earlier, the fisherman called her Macy, but at the end she laughed & said Macy's buoys would be gone. Why are they Macy's buoys, or is it real? It seems quite sinister-is it a play on words, as in "Macy's boys?" Hm-m-m! I'd like to read that last part. Great, Donna!

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    1. Glad you liked it! I went back and reread to see about the Macy part. I see how that could be confusing. The key is, there's no comma after "Ayuh". "Macy" was it's own sentence, as in stating his name. (It's a repeat exactly from the first story section - It's just a different POV from the first story.) Macy is the new fisherman who has put the traps in with Cap's. Now that I'm not restricted to 500 words, I could make that clearer perhaps!
      I have only one more 500 word part to it, that essentially concludes and reveals...I thought... but now I'm wondering...I think I have an idea...I think I just got more of "The Book" as I'm typing this. Gotta go jot notes! Thank you!

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