Thursday, October 17, 2013

15 Words a Bunch of Times Makes a Longer Poem

Over at Laura Salas' place, she does 15 Words or Less on Thursdays .  Today the picture is of a red and black hued funnel shape.  It inspired a short piece there, and then kept nagging at me until I finished it.  I changed the raise to be at the end of the first stanza, so I could use the rhyme to enhance its structure.  You need to go to Laura's place though, to see the picture AND to read other interpretations of the image.  Lots of wonderful work!

A
time to
leave this earth
a day to be released -
hands in hallelujah raise.

An
escape from
tears and sorrow
no more worries and despair -
long forgotten worldly days.

A
path to
a cloudless sky
above the whirl below -
voice lifts up in praise.

A
way to
a cloudless sky;
no more worries and despair -
hands in hallelujah raise!

  © Donna JT Smith

Ok.  Done.  The structure on this is a bit pantoumish, with repeating lines from previous stanzas (in order going up) in the last stanza.  Maybe I will call this new form smithoum...

And tomorrow - a lighter note!  A Mortimer Minute!   Come back for Mortimer's visit to Maine!

1 comment:

  1. Good that you surrendered to the nagging to complete the piece. A poem speaking of sky, heaven, end of life, rejoicing, was a surprising connection. Interesting how a picture can bring out completely different inspirations.

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