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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Give It Up



Empty
Bowl –
Striding.
Telling looks
Harsh stares

Thinking.
Devising.
Commanding.
You must have what I want.
You must know what I want.
You must relinquish what I want.

Yes.

I have what you want.
I know what you want.
I am busy.
Ignoring.
Resisting.
Aarrgh,  caving.
Relinquishing.

Telling looks
Harsh stares
Striding –
Bowl
Full.

The writing process to this piece, from 1st at the end to 5th and final (above).  It just seemed an interesting process to me and I decided to keep my copies as I revised.

4.
Food
Gone,
Striding to me.
Telling looks –
Harsh stares –
He is thinking.
Devising.
Commanding.
I must have what he wants.
I must know what he wants.
I must relinquish what he wants.
Yes.
I have what he wants.
I know what he wants.
I am busy.
I am ignoring.
Resisting.
Aarrgh,  caving.
Relinquishing.
Telling looks –
Harsh stares –
Striding to the bowl
With
Food.
3.
Hungry
Striding to the bowl
Telling looks
Harsh stares
He is thinking.
Devising.
Commanding.
I must have what he wants
I must know what he wants
I must relinquish what he wants.
I am ignoring.
Resisting.
Caving.
Telling looks
Harsh stares
Striding to the bowl
With
Food
2.
Hungry
He
Strides to the bowl
Gives me 
Blank stares
Speaking stares Telling looks
Harsh stares
He is thinking.
He is devising.
He is commanding.
I must have what he wants
I must know what he wants
I must relinquish what he wants
I am wondering.
I am resisting.
I am caving.
Blank stares
Speaking stares
Harsh stares
From
Me
Fed
1.
Blank stares
Speaking stares
Harsh stares
He is thinking.
He is devising.
He is commanding.
I must have what he wants
I must know what he wants
I must relinquish what he wants
I am wondering.
I am resisting.
I am caving.
Blank stares
Speaking stares
Harsh stares

Monday, November 28, 2011

Purrsee

This evening, while I was sewing, and obviously not paying enough attention to Purrsee, our Maine Coon Cat, he got hungry and bored.
He began sliding a spool of thread off the table, and I caught it about 4 times.  Then I started my camera. You can see at the end he has figured it out and is now teasing me!

video 
This morning, he was hungry also, and when he's hungry he likes to get my attention by opening kitchen cabinets (there is no cat food in any of these cabinets and he knows it). In this clip, he has already opened two kitchen cabinets, that you will see him walk by on his way to see if his dish has food in it yet.  I got my camera again, a bit too slowly, but you can see him in action just as the clip starts. When he knows I'm filming, he gets camera shy...or obstinate, perhaps is a better word!

video

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Fine Dining Experience

At a restaurant this morning
We sat down to dine
With mom, dad and baby...
And baby was fine!

Although we had worried
And imagined distress
His first public dining
Was quite a success.

It reminded me though,
As I thought of our son,
Of our first dining venture
Where he came undone.

I ate with one hand
And soothed with the other.
I stood up and rocked
Like every good mother.

I passed him to father,
But that didn't last,
Baby was cranky;
His nap time had passed.

Then strangers appeared
And came to my seat,
And those angels held him
So new parents could eat.

I like how having a grandchild brings back delicious and delightful memories, some of which weren't so delicious or delightful at the time! I wonder if those people at the restaurant still talk about the time they helped out some new parents at a restaurant one day 31 years ago.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Back Seat

Today I'm taking a back seat. For the next 8 hours I'm just sitting in the back seat listening to my two men - father and son - talking about cars, guns, work and other guy stuff. Deep voices back and forth. They don't get to talk like that much. I'm trying to sit quietly in the back seat and let them forget I am here. I don't want them to feel guilty that they aren't including me. I don't want them to include me. It's so comfortable to hear their voices. I feel safe and happy. In my back seat world I'm also texting my daughter about cooking her turkey on Thursday, and about making turkey pie with the leftovers. I'm sending her pictures to keep her updated on where we are in our Thanksgiving pilgrimage. She makes me smile when she says how excited my 3 month old grandson is to see me! We like our senses of humor in our family. It is a comfort to know you don't have to explain that you are joking or explain that what you said really means YOU are excited and that someday he will be when he knows what is going on! I remember as a little girl I sat in the back seat on the way to Nannie's and Gramp's house for Thanksgiving. I'm feeling as happy and excited as I did then! And suddenly I know how excited my grandmother must have been before I knew how exciting it was. The back seat is a good place for listening and thinking. Did I mention that I'm happy?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I Am Sewing

I don't know why I have to make such a big deal of sewing.
I have had this material since my grandson was born.  That will be three months in two days.  And now I am, at last, bravely cutting the material and single-mindedly sewing.

After a few little tweaks...like setting the material all folded up in little squares, then in strips, out on my bed, to see how it might go together; after looking at countless quilting patterns, after downloading quilting apps, after coloring paper strips and piecing them together, after taking everything out and putting it away again about 10 times; and after going to the store and buying ANOTHER larger cutting mat and new rotary cutter,  it just materialized, so to speak.

Two days ago, I came to the realization that I didn't want to put so much work into the quilt that I wouldn't want a baby to use it, and the job became so much easier to start! I began cutting and sewing yesterday.
I am looking at the floor that needs vacuuming, and the laundry that should be started.  I am thinking about the trip to PA, and how my house should be clean when my friend comes to tend to the dog and cat while we spend Thanksgiving with our new family branch that never existed before this year.  But suddenly, I really want him to have this quilt.  I want him to have it for Thanksgiving.

What if something happened to me and he never got a quilt from Nannie?  What if all he got were the pieces of fabric?  Someone else would have to put the pieces together, and then it wouldn't be from my heart and hands to his. 
I have finally started.  Now I have to finish.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

It's Come to This

Okay.  So it's come to this. 
I wanted some peanut butter.  It's natural and has an expiration date somewhere on it.  I finally located some writing on the edge of the lid.  I wore bifocals up until I stepped on them...well, no.  They were my new bifocals that I got to replace my "over the counter" reading glasses that cost $9.99.  I did not need to get bifocals.  I just thought it would be easier than continuing to use two different strengths of reading glasses, as my optometrist suggested I could do. Wearing them would save me about $300 but I would have to have two pair of different strength reading glasses with me at all times: one for distance and one for close up.  I decided to go with the bifocals.  However, I broke my expensive bifocals within the first 3 months of ownership, and while I waited to see if I would actually go in to get them fixed, I began wearing two pairs of glasses again. 
My daughter loves when I go out with one pair on top of my head and the other on my eyes...well, on my nose...(however she loves it even more when I wear sunglasses over the glasses I'm wearing AND have a pair on my head.  
So that's the background.  My current reading glasses are starting to get a bit weaker (probably wore out the strength from so much use), especially in low light.  I needed to see the expiration date on the peanut butter, but my glasses weren't strong enough or maybe the lighting was bad.  Yeah, probably that last thing... 
Anyway, I, being the clever person that I am, got out my iPhone and snapped a picture of said expiration date on that peanut butter lid.  And then I could just spread the peanut butter so to speak, and make the date as large as I needed to in order to see it without any glasses! 
Sometimes I am so clever I scare me.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

More illows


Today I worked with a teen, teaching her to sew.  We sewed the first of many pillowcases to donate to the women in a residential addictions program.  I started to write about that, but when I started writing the word "pillow" it made me think of other words...

I like the sound of
pillows,
billows
and willows.

I think
there should
more illow words -
millows of them -
**********************************************************

In the lillows of the valley,
the fragrance is so sweet.

In the frillows of the brook
water splashed upon my feet.

In the nillows of the night,
fireflies glowed, and darkness lightened.

In the villows of the tree
many creatures lived unfrightened.

In the sillows of a web,
the dew drops sparkled with perfection.

In the chillows of the winter,
new snow shone the moon's reflection.

In the gillows of the rocks
little mice were nibbling corn.

In the rillows of the mind
is where mighty dreams are born.
***********************************************************

I do not know where this came from today....somewhere in the rillows of my mind.  I have perhaps been up too late in the nillows of the night.

Linked to Poetry Friday hosted by Tabitha Yeats: The Opposite of Indifference.